Lost in the mail?

Recently, one of my friends from college got married. I thought we were pretty good friends. I've seen her more often over the years than I've seen many of our other "studio friends" - at least once a year. I know that it can be difficult to keep up with former classmates, but with the invention of Facebook, we can at least have the illusion of staying in touch.

When I found out she was getting married, I was really excited for her. Finally, she would make it official with her long-time beau. I couldn't wait to make a couple-of-hours drive to see her wedding. So I waited for my invite. And it never came.

I get that with the costs of weddings, sometimes people get shaved off the guest list. So I then proceeded to look at pictures on Facebook of the wedding to see how it went and who was there. Was it a more intimate affair with just family and a few close friends? Were there any out-of-town classmates in attendance?

And the answers were not the ones I was hoping to discover! Not only were plenty of people there, consisting of both family & friends/classmates, but SEVERAL of the classmates in attendance were from way out of town - not just a couple of hours away but a "schedule a flight" kind of distance. Also many of our former classmates that were in attendance were people that I can't ever remember my friend saying two words to.

I know what you're thinking. Stace has gone crazy over something that doesn't matter, but you haven't heard the crazy part yet. My feelings were hurt for not getting invited to a wedding!!! I don't know how many times that I've been obligated to attend a wedding and just been miserable. I guess I was just feeling left out. And everyone's answer seems to be, "Your invitation just got lost in the mail." Well that's highly unlikely. My address is very easy to find, and our mailman is "Johnny on the Spot." Either she forgot about me, or she purposely chose not to invite me - either to save costs or because she didn't think we were as close as I thought we were.

At any rate, there's no polite/non-pathetic way to ask her why, so I guess I'll have to suck it up and let it go.

Things to do to keep from seeing RED

I know we've all been there. Some of us are there right now. I'm talking about that moment when the concept of fine suddenly shifts unexpectedly, and all of a sudden you find yourself fantasizing about punching someone in the face. I call this phenomenon "Seeing Red." Once I "see red" there is not a lot that can talk me off my rage box. I have passed the point of rational thought, and I find it hard to even communicate rationally. My anger cap has exploded off and some of the sentences I am screaming are just a list of all the cuss words I know. The desire to act becomes almost overpowering, especially for a former fighter like myself. But never fear! I have a list of things that might help you overcome the impulse to go tribal on a salesclerk.

1. The Warning - Say something to make the other person know that you're angry, but DON'T overdo it. Don't cut too deep with this jab. Just one sentence to let them know you're upset. Try to steer away from involving their family, weight, religious beliefs, financial standing, etc. This way, if it does escalate, at least you gave them a warning to back off.

Good Example:
Betty: "You're house is always so gross. Don't you believe in cleaning?"
You (change your tone to ANGRY and look in the eye to make your point): "I've never seen your ass with a sponge!"

Bad Example:
Betty: "You're house is always so gross. Don't you believe in cleaning?"
You (change your tone to ANGRY and look in the eye to make your point): "You need to scurry back to your deadbeat husband and have him knock some sense into you for saying shit like that to me!!!"

2. The Distance - After you've said your peace, put some distance between you and that person IMMEDIATELY. Walk away right after you jab back. If they're alone with you in your house, make up an excuse for them to leave. If you're in a group, break away and hang out with the other members of the group. If you're in a car with them, make a point that you just want to listen to the music for awhile in silence (if they didn't already know to shut up). If you linger, they might jab back, and then they'll really be no stopping the ass whooping. Also, the longer you have to be in their presence, the longer your brain has to wander and escalate their comment in your mind, and the madder you'll get.

3. The Rant - Once you've removed yourself from the situation, you are free to rant about it to your friends. Talking to them really helps. And to all you best friends out there: Now is not the time to insert reason into the conversation. That is for later. Your job is to LISTEN and AGREE, especially so soon after the incident. When a couple of days go by, you are free to insert honesty or pleas for the culprit in this manner: "Stacy, I get it, that would've pissed me off too, but she's just one of those people that doesn't think before she speaks. She makes comments when she shouldn't. Not worth losing sleep over."

4. Burying the hatchet - for much later after the incident (at least a week) - this step is optional:  If you feel so inclined,  you can confront the person with a clearer mind and voice your wrongs. This only helps if you are forced to continue to be around this person - like in a work environment or in a circle of friends. Staying mad helped no one EVER. You may never like this person, but you might as well let it go. Also, this gives you a great opportunity to keep this from happening ever again. Once they know why you're so pissed, they can avoid making such comments in the future. Unless the wrongdoer can't be reasoned with, in which case, write them off. Just don't let if affect your relationships with others.

Good Example:
You: "Listen Betty, I'm sorry I almost lost my shit on you. I know you don't know me very well, but when people make comments like, "Don't you believe in cleaning?" I see Red. I know you were probably joking and all, but Homie don't play about that." Then laugh.

Bad Example:
You: "Listen Betty, I'm sorry I almost lost my shit on you, but you should know better than to say that shit to me. You will wind up in a body bag if I ever hear that again, and the police will have to call your parents to identity your ass."

I have had success with these methods for getting out of the "Red," and I hope that you find them useful too. Maybe I can help keep you out of jail.

Storage Solutions

As I continue to try to declutter my life, I've realized that certain storage problems need to be met. Oftentimes these problems can be solved through the existing infrastructure in place, like closet shelving; other times, however, all signs lead to purchasing some storage furniture. And that's exactly what I did.

The first thing that I purchased was an entertainment center for $160 at Walmart, and it has already proven to be extremely useful. I have a lot of "retro" media players that I like to keep. By purchasing an 3-shelf entertainment center, I was able to store my stereo and bluray player on the top shelf, my DVD and VHS players on the middle shelf, and there is still an entire bottom shelf for gaming systems if we decide to move them from the living room. Also, the entertainment center had a mount for Antonio, my tv, which is an added bonus. (this photo was taken from Walmart's website for the product - that's NOT Antonio, lol)

The second storage things that I purchased were two, plastic, 3-drawer storage cabinets from Target for about $12 each. I used the first one to store and separate David's socks, underwear, and undershirts. Now he knows exactly where these essentials are in the morning when he's trying to get ready. I put this unit in his closet.

The second unit was used to store my vast CD collection - in alphabetical order, of course. I like that this one has wheels, so it's easy to move. Also, I have nowhere to put my purse when I get home from work, and now I can use the top surface for purse placement. The CDs that couldn't fit were continued on into an old CD organizer that I have had forever and that's on the same wall.

Lastly, I found it necessary to purchase a 6-cube organizer from Target for $80, and the large baskets for $30 per set of two. My cheap bookcase did not survive the move, so I needed a new place to store my school books. This one is really sturdy. Also, the baskets were perfect for holding my vinyl records, and the unit was wide enough for me to sit my record player on top. (this photo was taken off of Target's website, advertising the product.)

So for approximately $300, I was able to find a place to store everything. Not too bad, if you ask me!

Organization

Lately, I've become obsessed with the idea of organization. Not because of OCD or any sort of nervous habit, but because I thrive on functionality. I need things to be in their places in order for my life to function better. And I wonder if you are a victim of this as well, or if once again, I'm marching to my own drum.

As you know, I recently moved. I never meant to be a frequent wanderer, but my Dad probably thinks that I'm just moving to spite him at this point. From home to college and college to home and home to the nearest city to three different places in that city. I can hear his inward sigh every time I make that phone call. 

When you move into a new place, you are overwhelmed by the amount of stuff you have. When you move into a place with someone who already lives there, the space seems to shrink even more. This is where the organization obsession comes in. In order to find anything, every thing needs a place. If not, mornings are chaos. Try getting ready in the morning when you have no idea where any of your clothes are and you're tripping over baskets of mysterious items that you have no idea where to relocate. I speak from recent experience.

I'm trying to conquer this problem one system at a time. Now that the new closet shelves are in, step 2 is going to be the organization of the clothes. I plan to go thorough all of my clothes and get rid of the pieces that I don't wear anymore - to essentially declutter my life. Then, I'll hang everything that will hang. After that, all that's left is narrow down the keepers that can be be folded and put them in my armoire and in my boyfriend's chest of drawers. 

For all of those crafty people out there, I plan (with his permission, of course) to paint the chest of drawers a color that better suits me and the room. The room is painted a very light, pale blue, and dark, cherry wood furniture inhabits the space. Right now, the chest is painted a brown color with some pink in it. I would love to eventually transform it into a gray, distressed piece with Annie Sloan Chalk Paint and Soft Wax. I really like the French Linen color.

Someone else's dresser turned vanity with the French Linen color

Wish me luck!

Handiness

Hi, my name is Stacy. I am a small town gal who's interning at a small architecture firm. One of these days, I'm gonna take my tests and become a registered Architect, but for now, I'm just an "almost Architect." There's your title trailer right there. You're welcome.

One of the things that I've discovered about myself recently is that creativity doesn't necessarily equal handiness. Recently, I tried to take on a simple closet renovation, which led to a whole new respect for Contractors. Finding studs and dealing with installing braces and torqued nails all sounds so simple, but once you start taking it on, it can be a huge undertaking. So I did a smart thing:  I enlisted the help of people who know what they are doing. And I think it turned out great.

At any rate, I wanted to toot my own horn for a second about my cool idea. I own a over-the-door shoe organizer, but when I recently moved into my new place, I discovered the closet door swung in; in other words, the hooks wouldn't allow the door to close. So I came up with the cool idea of hanging a towel rack in the closet. My awesome Dad came over to hang it for me, and with the help of some cool hardware (that reinforced the towel rack and allowed it to hold the weight of the shoe organizer without being screwed into a stud), and with the addition of some standard shower rings, I was able to keep my shoe storage. 

So in summation, when my creativity and need for functional design goes into overdrive, I have some fantastically handy "Contractors" who are ready to help me see my designs come to life. It's really all about teamwork. That's some food for thought. You can snack on it later. I've enclosed a shitty picture. You're welcome.